That Light After That Storm

I walked through that valley of fear.
I walked alone with the weight of the world on my shoulders.
I walked while the rain was heavily pouring down.
I walked while the wind seemed to blow my hopes away.

I walked with my eyes seemed blind.
I walked with numbness felt on my skin.
I walked with soundless steps on the uncertain ground.
I walked with my mind blank and black.

But when I was about to let go...
But when I was about to crawl on the ground...
A light showed up.
A tiny hope behind that valley of fear.

So promising.
So alluring.
So beautiful.
But too far away.

I still can't reach it.
I kept sitting on the ground.
I kept watching it,
With my hopes going down.

I was about to end all of the agony...
But as I closed my eyes, as I was about to take the rest,
I felt it became warmer. Warmer and warmer.
Closer and closer.

That light, I felt was mine.
That light after the storm...
That light that gave me just another reason.
Another reason to walk more, to live more, and to love more.

When Love Remains

It was so painful.
Very painful.
Yet you chose to walk away...
You chose to never stay.

Wishes that were never meant to come true...
Dreams that were never meant for me and you..
Smiles and laughter that will never be back...
Because with someone new, you turned your back.

I was so disappointed with you...
I am indeed angry at you...
Why do you have to go...
Why did you choose to let go?

I thought what we had is something true...
I thought that what have is a fairy tale coming true...
Why do you have to go?
Why with someone new?

But I know after all the pain,
If my love will still remain...
Even if you come back again,
I can never choose you again...

Next Man

I loved you... I loved you so much... I loved you too much...
You're in my senses... You're everywhere I go...
You keep on haunting me... I don't know where to run...
I wanna hide from you... from your shadow... from your memory...
I wanna let go of all the love that I have for you...

I wanna cut every chain you had in me...
It's hurting me... It's dragging me to darkness...
It's dragging me to the death of my soul...
You'll become the death of me.

I wanna cry...
Cry harder than before...
Cry until there's no more tears coming out...
Cry my love for you until it scorches out.

I wanna cut my heart out...
The heart which beats for you...
I wanna get it out to get you out...
I wanna tear it out just to let you know I'm going to get over you...

But for now, I wanna be chained coz I am still hoping...
I wanna cry because there's still love...
I wanna let my heart beat coz I am still loving...
But tomorrow, when the time is right and everything's ripe,
I will let go of it all... And be a new and better me for the next man I am going to be with.

Piece by Piece

I never said I was perfect...
Because I know I am not...
I am too young to know everything...
I am too naive to be wise enough for love.

I fell in love with a man. A kind man.
He made me smile, he made me laugh...
He taught me a lot of stuff...
He made me do things I never thought I'd do...
He made me wish for forever to be true...

It was a promising picture of love...
A deceiving happiness that was felt...
I thought it was love to last...
It was just a perfect imitation... A perfect deception.

Now you went away...
Dragging with you my world of love...
Crashing it to pieces...
Leaving me with nothing but memories and pain.

I have to pick up every piece...
I have to build my world piece by piece...
My hands are wounded and in pain...
But I believe that I'll be stronger this time around...
And no one like you will tear the new me down.

Died

It was like magic...
So bright...
So stunning...
So alluring...
It was like magic.

You enveloped me in warmth...
I was pulled into your spell...
I was pulled too deep, I was lost.
I did not see anything but I believed in the warmth I still feel.

No light... No warmth...
All darkness and coldness...
I tried to feel you, but no matter how I reach out...
I bleed as knife cut me deeper and deeper...

I was too innocent...
Not as innocent as before but still innocent...
I was deceived in that light...
I tried to keep it burning but you took it all...

Now I am lost...
Lost again...
I wanna get out...
Find my light and keep it mine...
Keep it burning even though you died.

Broken Again

He asked me today if how I was.

I told him I'm getting better everyday.

But all I wanted to say is that,

"I'm miserable since the day that you left."

I can't even eat,

My appetite went away.

I wanted to stop thinking.

But when I start to stay silent, his memories pour on me.

Why would you go?

Why would you leave me?

Am I not enough?

Why?

I thought I'll never say goodbye again...

I thought I'm not going to cry...

He said he'll never leave me...

But why did he run away?

He said he's not going to do what others do,

He said that no matter what he'll never go.

He said that we can do it together.

He said he'll be with me forever.

Back Once Again

I still hear the songs that you played in my head...
It is actually one of the reasons why I can't let us go...
You play the songs that only my heart can hear...
You play the songs that also bring me to tears...

The pain was unbearable...
I can't talk, I can't walk...
I can't feel myself because of the pain...
I can't feel anything except that pain...

I wanted to run...
Run in the rain...
Run until I am out of breath...
Run until all the pain is being blown by the wind as I passed by.

I never thought that this could be my doing...
But who else am I to blame?
All of them told me it was me.
All of them are blaming me...

I want to run under the rain...
To wash all my tears away...
For no one must not see the pain...
That only my eyes could say...

I am feelings all these pain,
Of which I wanted not to remember...
The same feelings that was made by him before...
Now it's all back, and I don't know if I can still handle it anymore...